"Are the Stooges the Greatest Rock 'n' Roll Band Ever?"


It's almost frighteningly irrelevant to even consider what I'm about to embark on, but nevertheless I feel it must be said: the Stooges were perhaps the greatest Rock ‘n' Roll group of all time. Groan all you want – bicker about what a laughably misinformed (and highly "unfashionable") opinion that is – but I wish to state my case.
[snip]
The Stooges were a freak show from hell, willfully disgusting every square who stood in their way. It was an important asset. Of course it's not an essential asset for great music – the contrary is often the case – but when done with a certain sense of flair, being offensive can be a most important trait. These guys were pure mid-Western white trash. Trailer homes. Speed freaks. Car factories. Ugly as goddamn sin. Other bands have achieved this: the Sex Pistols (a 10/10 rating in this area), Black Flag, hell, even the Rolling Stones had their moments of outrage, yet the Stooges were animalistic and outrageous in a purely uncalculated, instinctual manner. There was no pre-planning, there were no marketing meetings, and no ageing Situationist managers drawing up manifestos to send off to the media.
[snip]
I guess it's called "growing up." I try not to think about it. I may really "like" Faust and even dig the odd John Cage record, but they don't mean all that much to me on a personal level. They're just not communicating anything to me. It's either all stuffy intellectualism or Zappa-esque "wackiness"; I don't hear the humanity, the wail from the gutter. The Stooges' music is pure emotionalism. It's both a cry for help and a cry of FUCK YOU. It's a middle finger to the entire universe wrapped in thundering riffs, avant-jazz rhythms and seething white noise. There's even the theory (often propagated by ‘zine hep-cats) that the Stooges – far from being back-to-basics Rock ‘n' Roll – were in fact the ultimate avant-garde band. After all, no one had ever made it that primitive before. It was like jungle rhythms with a plane flying overhead. Modern primitive in the most complementary sense, but then again, whether you think they were heirs to Stockhausen or merely a bunch of glue-sniffing Neanderthals is not really the point – low- and high-brow "art" don't even exist in reality – the only thing that's real is indefinable, that something that puts a bug up yer butt and makes you move. Just whack on "TV Eye," crank it up to 11 and I dare you to stay still. The Stooges and Funhouse are what that piddly band you bum around in can only hope to aspire to.
Perfect Sound Forever July 2005 no.2