
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"I go to Indianapolis every year, to see the the Indy 500. I go there with friends to drive and race. Every year when they go there to qualify, they usually have to go as fast as they possibly can to get a front row position. They put nitro in their cars sometimes instead of the fuel that's intended to be in the cars, so that the cars will go faster. And they do, for 5 or 10 laps... then they blow all to Hell." - Evel Knievel
"It's a shame cars don't run on cognitive dissonance."
“Still, I figure you can close your eyes and listen to your own breath, or you can close your eyes and touch yourself – either way, you're going to end up in the same blissful state.”
" When I was a kid you knew milk was good, because there was only one kind of milk, 'moo cow fuck' milk, and that was it. Now you dont know, because when you go down the grocery store, the milk aisle goes on for fuckin ever. There's 1%, 2%, low fat, skimmed, asadophalis milk ? What the fuck are ya talking about ? Lactose intolerant milk ? Kiss my dick ! If you re lactose intolerant, you cant drink milk, so whats in the fuckin carton ? "
"...and if you walk to the end of the block, there sits a Starbucks. And directly across the street -- in the exact same building as that Starbucks -- there is... another Starbucks. There is a Starbucks across the street from a Starbucks! And ladies and gentlemen, THAT is the end of the universe."